some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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