his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So squirting runs in the family.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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