their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
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He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
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They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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