Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
