The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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