So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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