More tranny stories later!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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