hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
