I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
