College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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