How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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