wrigley field is MILF paradise
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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