everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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