Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
