im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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