is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize