Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you had me at cake vodka
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
