Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
