Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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