Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
