highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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