The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
