My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
