You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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