was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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