Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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