Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
