Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize