this will be a night to untag.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
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Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
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Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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