I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
