The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
