can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
