I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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