You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
