you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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