You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
