dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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