I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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