These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.