therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You smell like stripper and shame
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.