He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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