Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk