just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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