I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
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I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
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Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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