id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
