Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
