Your mouth is God's brothel.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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