Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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