this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
