My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
