my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
