K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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