Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
