yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
