oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
