I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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