Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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