I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
