You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
