She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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