She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You've changed since you got that strap on
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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