The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
