If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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