Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
