why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
