i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
