I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
