My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
